My entrance into the professional side of sexuality started as many do: on Craigslist. I had just finished the last exam of my (first) undergrad in classical voice and needed a job, so I replied to a post looking for someone to do PR and marketing for an artsy adult site. I got the gig and started that Monday. Since then, I’ve worked as an executive, publicist, editor, and director for numerous adult companies, developed workshops and talks as a sex educator, and spent all of my free time organizing/hosting storytelling events, conferences, podcasts, and radio shows, all of which are about sexuality to some degree. Some of my educational interests (outside of technique and safety) include gender, power dynamics, discovering desires, fantasy fulfilment, and discussing just about anything associated with the social/ethical/creative sides of porn.
After five years of work, I hit a little snag and had a series of strokes, as one does. No one really knows why it happened, but there was a dissection in my vertebral artery, which lead to three strokes and damage in my cerebellum and medulla oblongata. Mostly it happens with neck injuries or serious underlying conditions, but some of us are just profoundly unlucky. Relearning to swallow, feed and bathe myself, stand, walk with a cane (etc) wasn’t something I was expecting to have to do in my late twenties, but it’s actually been much more challenging to reacquaint myself with my body and my sexuality. Now that I’ve more or less made peace with my lingering stroke symptoms, I’ve turned my attention towards issues of pleasure, representation, and agency of disabled people on both a personal and professional level.
I do have a life outside of my work… Sometimes. I’m engaged to an amazing guy, we have a cat and a dog, and we live in a cute little apartment in Toronto, Canada. We make brunch, puns, and sometimes even music. (The humans, not the animals.) Having a wonderful and healthy relationship has been a real bright spot in the face of a difficult time, so I’ve joined up with Friend of a Friend Matchmaking to hopefully create some more love in the world. Also, since my life got flip turned upside down, I decided to go back to school to do a second undergrad in psychology and sexuality in the hopes of doing lots more school and eventually becoming a sex-positive therapist and/or working in policy around sex and disability in health care and rehabilitation. Don’t have a stroke, but if you have to, at least get some inspiration out of the deal.