While I talk about my stroke a fair amount, I’m much less inclined to talk about my experience being diagnosed with type-2 diabetes after my discharge. Disordered eating of one kind or another plagued my adolescence and I bought into yo-yo dieting for much of my young adulthood. The process of becoming more kind to my body and accepting it helped me be more healthy and intuitive about my eating, but post-stroke budgetary restrictions, fatigue, and depression derailed much of that. I wrote about how I got back to a happier, healthier place with the help of a community-sourced holistic nutritionist for She Does the City.
I rant about my cane from time to time because people are such assholes about it sometimes. I’m mostly semi-incoherent and cursing a blue streak, but I got it together to write about the shift from the male gaze to the able-bodied gaze as a newly disabled woman for She Does the City. If you need a reason to not hassle a disabled person or insert them into your weird saviour narrative, this is it.
Many things about this year have sucked, but I decided to engage my (occasionally) sunny disposition and try to accentuate the positive. Here goes:
1. Went back to school to study psychology.
2. Adopted a beautiful dog named Charlotte.
3. Became a matchmaker with Friend of a Friend Matchmaking. (!!!)
4. Got an article accepted into the American Journal of Occupational Therapy.
5. Spoke at Ryerson, University of Guelph and University of Toronto about sexuality, health care, and disability, and ran workshops/panels at lots of other places, too!
6. Aced my health psychology course.
7. Went to cottages, music festivals, destination weddings, and lots of family visits.
8. Met and hung out with my favourite drag queen ever: Katya!
9. Did a lot of healing AND accepting of things I can’t change about my health/disability.
10. Saw BEYONCE!
11. Put together a sexuality conference.
12. Basically lived in a non-stop cuddle puddle with my dog, my cat, and my partner.
13. Continued to explore storytelling, radio/podcasting, and writing.
14. Celebrated the anniversaries of my stroke and my engagement, which were both happy.
15. Read a fuckton of books.
Me! I’m the boss. Well, a boss. I’m a part of the Bossy List of feminist/queer folks doing interesting things over on feminist blog Floral Manifesto, put together by Margeaux Feldman. I’m filed under the “Care Department” along with all sorts of amazing people. Dreambabes include Carly Boyce of Tiny Lantern Tarot, writer (and fellow stroke survivor!) Ama Scriver, Viktoria Bitto of the Sexual Assault Action Coalition, storytelling event producer Laura Louise Tobin of Raconteurs Storytelling, the good people at GUTS and Shameless magazines… I’m lucky to be in such badass company. Check out the full list here and find a few new bosses. Go to work!
Friend of a Friend Matchmaking is the Best Introduction/Dating Service in Toronto according to Now Magazine! And yes, that includes online dating and apps! I feel like I’ve hitched my wagon to a pretty great group of yentas… and the media agrees!
As you may know, I’m a matchmaker now! I’m actually an LGBTQ+ matchmaker for Friend of a Friend Matchmaking. I wrote up a blog post for the site about what differentiates my more queer eye with what is traditionally offered by (generally defacto coded straight) matchmaking. It’s really awesome to get the opportunity to be a lot more open and to listen to what folks want and need, rather than just telling them how to want and seek connection.
Read more on the Friend of a Friend Yentablog!